Teens Are Talking to AI: It’s Time for Us to Listen

“I’m going to tell you something I’ve only ever told AI.”  

This summer, as I met one-on-one with girls at Camp LiveGirl, I heard this phrase again and again. Concerned and curious, I immediately began to research this phenomenon. 

Here’s what I found: 70% of teens are using generative AI, and about one in three teens have used AI companions for social interaction and companionship.  

These numbers come from a report recently published by Common Sense Media, and while the teens’ use of AI might feel alarming, panic or shame are not the answer.  It’s clear that teens will explore these spaces, with or without us. There’s insight here if we pause to listen. This piece unpacks the trend, and ends with concrete guidance for parents who want to support their kids.  We need to approach the phenomenon of the AI chatbot with curiosity, education, and connection.  

Why AI?

As adults, we recognize developmental milestones for children like rolling over, walking, or talking. But for adolescents, milestones look more like independence, identity, and connecting with peers. Learning new social skills and going through puberty requires some trial and error, and a lot of awkwardness.  It’s their job!

For an adolescent, AI can feel like a cheat code for working through the feelings that come with these development tasks.  An AI chatbot becomes a low-stakes space to confess, have easy conversation, or ask for advice. The numbers back this up- 14% say they turn to AI chatbots because they “don’t judge.”

But while technology can be helpful in the moment, it cannot replace the human connection that drives real emotional development. Only about 39% of teens report applying skills they practice with AI to real-life situations.  While a chatbot can listen instantly, it cannot teach social skills and provide the warmth of human empathy.

Feedback Required

With AI, there is no real feedback. AI chatbots are sycophants- they are designed to validate, not to challenge. This is a point that many of my savvy students had already picked up on in their AI chats. In human conversation, body language and verbal communication provide dynamic feedback.  This helps adolescents learn social skills and create a good decision-making system. In a conversation with AI, where there are only affirmations and validation, advice can go in a dangerous direction. 

Privacy Risks

Teens also need to understand the privacy risks of treating AI like a therapist. Unlike a private journal, conversations with chatbots are stored by the companies that own them and, in some cases, may be reviewed by staff, or disclosed through legal processes. “Confessions” typed late at night don’t disappear into the void—they live on servers owned by corporations. That means when teens pour their hearts into AI, they’re handing over their most vulnerable thoughts to a system that was never designed to protect them the way a trusted human adult can.

The Human Superpower Teens Still Need

Parents, teachers, and mentors can use this moment not just to educate teens about AI, but to open the door to deeper conversations. However, 49% of parents say they have not talked to their teens about generative AI. We should teach AI literacy the same way we teach media literacy. In order to create a safe human environment for our teens’ emotions, we must create a place where they can talk about their AI use, and learn about the impact, without shame.

After talking about AI, a parent could ask, “When you’re feeling down, who do you feel safe talking to?” “What helps you feel safe to share with me or your friends?” The goal is to create a space with trusted adults in their life where they can share the same confessions, questions, and bids for connection they felt safe sharing with AI.

When your teen comes to you with a big topic or asks a taboo question, respond with curiosity instead of judgment. The love you have for your child is the human superpower no chatbot can ever replace.

If AI Is the First Step, Let Humans Be the Next

Teens will keep experimenting with AI. The question isn’t whether to ban it, it’s whether we can respond by providing them with trusted adults in their life who can educate and support them. As they grow through all the changes of adolescence, let us surround them with human feedback, privacy, and loving connection.

What can you do? In addition to starting conversations with your teens around AI, you can introduce your daughter to a program like SHE CARES, where she can connect to a personal mentor. Through LiveGirl’s SHE CARES mentoring program, girls in middle school through college are paired with trained adults who listen without judgment and provide steady, supportive guidance. The program is entirely virtual and free, ensuring that every young woman has access to a safe human connection when she needs it most.

By: Farrell Lindemann, LMSW 

Community. That’s what I have found in LiveGirl.

Community. That’s what I have found in LiveGirl.

Everyone typically uses this word to describe their experience with organizations but it’s different to actually live in it.

In May of 2020, I lost my father to Covid which was ultimately the most devastating thing that I could’ve ever experienced.  A couple months later, I joined LiveGirl League with absolute no idea what I wanted to do to help my community or how I even would. I had no inkling of self love, no true understanding of myself, and no real personal goals. But by the end of every meeting, I discovered different parts of myself that I didn’t even know existed.

Fast forward to the second to last week of our meetings, I was now someone who learned how to speak life into themselves and found that their passion was helping others around them. Particularly youth who are grieving which is how The Grief Relief Group came to life. I started this group then began to co-lead it with my best friend. We held meetings every Saturday afternoon where we created a space for young teens to confront their feelings in a healthy way.

Through this group I have learned that there is healing in both giving and receiving. Without the tremendous amount of support and guidance from LiveGirl, I would have never learned that loss doesn’t just have to be loss, but that what I’ve learned from this loss can be made into positive action.

With all this being said, I want to give a great thank you to LiveGirl. One of the greatest things you’ve given me and I’m sure many other girls, is the freedom to be my most unapologetic authentic self without judgment. Thank you for all that you’ve done to help young women like myself flourish into people we used to dream to be.

By Breana Chery, LiveGirl HS Fellow

My Generation- A Call To Action

We are faced with many problems today, but I see people spending more time arguing than finding solutions to these problems. Our increasingly polarized society, long-standing injustices, the uncertainty of climate change, all against the backdrop of COVID-19, can make us feel powerless in creating solutions. 

A lot of these issues today have been going on for a while and in a lot of ways, the generation above us has let us down. They've left us with a lot of problems on our backs, certainly contributing to the rise in anxiety and depression in our generation. With suicide rates going up and students dropping out of high school, there clearly is a problem. So what can we do about it? 

I’ve learned through LiveGirl that I must be the change I want to see. Many youth activists are quickly becoming the movers and shakers of the world's diverse movements. 32% of the global population makes up generation z, surpassing millennials and making us play the largest role in society today. Yet still today many young people don't realize how powerful their voices are. LiveGirl has taught me that you don't have to be of voting age to make change. So I’m here to tell you - that together- we hold the power to make the world a better place. 

Movements start with the decision to speak up. A movement holds a belief in possibility and belief that voices will be heard. For many - once they learned about or experienced social, political, environmental injustice, they hear their calling and take action. So I encourage you all to educate yourself. Once you arm yourself with knowledge, educate those around you. Learn from reputable organizations in those fields and other trusted sources. We are fortunate that as young people, we have the most access to education through technology. Our minds are still malleable, so form your own thoughts. Share your ideas and start conversations, because if not, we’re bound to keep with the traditions of the past.

Take action. Advocate for change, write letters and testimonies, participate and lead in protests, fundraise, share on social media, volunteer, and take your talents and use them to your advantage to make an impact. Ask yourself, what can I do? And do it. Sparking change isn't reserved for those with exceptional qualities and superpowers, we all have what it takes to create change. You can make an impact right where you are right now. So challenge the narrative, speak up, speak out, be loud, be clear, and fight - for what is important to you. No matter how young you are, your voice is valid, do not stay silent in the face of injustice. Now more than ever, the world needs you, and your voice. We need everyone because the weight of the world is not as heavy if we all lift it together. 

Many times in our lives we have been taught that our voices aren’t important, but LiveGirl tells us otherwise. I wouldn't be where I am today without the profound community of LiveGirl and its mentors. I often hear people say that we are the future, that we will change the world, but that isn’t true. We are not just the future, we are the present, and we are changing the world right now.  As Frederick Douglass once reminded us, “Power concedes nothing without demand.” so let’s rise up together and start making demands. Join the LiveGirl Leadership Council to lead change and be changed.

-Lorrie Solonynka